Sunday, September 15, 2013

Proposals

Something that I've noticed about having a husband-to-be that I find sort of funny/perplexing is that people always want to know how he proposed. The first time someone asked this, I was unprepared for it, so feeling self-conscious, I made up an elaborate and completely untrue story about him having gotten down on one knee after we drove home one romantic evening, and there were fancy cupcakes and champagne and stars in the sky that he had personally planted there, or something. Since then, I've been mulling over how to tell the real story without making it sound like I have really low expectations and/or my h-t-b is a sot.

The real story is that our decision to marry was a result of many discussions. Once we had decided, we started telling people. I said (insisted) I had always wanted a ring, so he got me one and gave it to me. Under what I would describe as relatively pedestrian circumstances, except our parents' conversation about something else had to be interrupted so we could show it to them. BTW this happened after they already knew of our marriage plans.

Now what I want to know is, are the stories that other girls are constantly telling really true, or are they sort of full of shit? Like could it really be possible that you had absolutely no idea whatsoever that your boyfriend wanted to get married, until he suddenly arranged an elaborate scavenger hunt in the country that you willingly did without asking any qs or getting pouty about having to play a really dumb childish game, and then at the end, you found a diamond ring hidden in the bottom of a massive pen of stuffed animals? A diamond ring which he had gone out and spent a lot of money on just like that, without being told by you that it was mandatory or even any coaxing from anyone? And you bizarrely agreed to get married even though this was a complete and total surprise and getting married was not at all on your radar screen until that very second? And is this actually the same guy who won't move fantasy baseball to a slightly lower point on his priority list and had to be hassled to fix the epic plumbing fail in the bathroom yesterday?

To be clear, I don't think a mutual decision to get married is unromantic. In fact, quite the opposite. What I do wonder is how someone could decide they were ready to get married if the proposal really came as a complete surprise, and if it wasn't a surprise and the couple had fully discussed their plans for marriage, why there is a need for anything else, particularly when something so carefully planned is so out of character for the person doing it. It just seems like placing the importance on the wrong thing. So what gives?
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