Thursday, September 20, 2012

Point of no return

I'm under 30, but I've been realizing lately somewhat painfully that who I am is already set in stone, that the fundamentals of my personality, my disposition, the shape of my body, whether I tend to be happy or sad, glass-half-empty or glass-half-full, what society I am a product of and what language I speak, my poor sense of direction - these things have already been decided for me and none of them will ever change. I am already who I am.

It happened awfully fast. This is the person who will be going through the rest of it, exactly as I am right now, wherever I am and whatever I do. I've passed the point of no return.

Friday, September 14, 2012


Lately I've been feeling like I'm constantly surrounded by discussions in various media as to whether various things are still relevant. Newspapers, are those relevant? What about CDs, are those? And what about hotmail? What about religion, or Yiddish, or taking a walk?

I'll admit this is nothing but rank speculation, but I have this funny feeling it didn't used to be this way. I  seriously just can't imagine that back in the day they used to sit around saying "Well say, that ol' horse and buggy, do you suppose it's still relevant?" I'm thinking if it was relevant then it was relevant and if not, then people stopped using/buying/manufacturing/breeding it, and that was that. No need to chat a million circles around it, as though you can stop time from moving along just by running your mouth to the end of the universe.

I think this whole talking too much business is something that happens in other situations too. Like for example, I used to get insulted when I thought someone was insinuating that I eat too much, and then I'd get all twisted into a hypersensitive fit and talk about it to whomever was nearby til I was blue in the face. And what did it change? Nothing, that's what. I basically had two options: either ignore the person and keep eating as much as I like because I think he's wrong, or else eat less because I think he's right. No need to talk about that shit nonstop and get all upset, that's what I say.

Or whenever I've had to make a major decision. It's like I'd pretty much rather talk about making the decision for the rest of my life than actually make it. No, seriously.

So what was I saying again? Oh yes, that thing about being relevant.