Friday, May 4, 2012

Voids

Something I've been thinking about lately is how people, myself included, do things in an attempt to fill a void. For example, I got a job in a different country thinking - well, I'm not sure what change I was thinking would happen, but there was definitely a void I thought it would fill, like - maybe if I'm in a new place I won't feel bored anymore, ever! I won't have to keep myself busy! I won't have to figure out what to do in those quiet moments!

Well, as it turns out, being in a new place feels a lot like being at home, only harder to get anything done and my parents are too far away to help (yes, I still depend a lot on my parents being able to help me with stupid little things... don't know if that makes me a big loser or what at 26). I read all the time about people who get married or have children in an attempt to fill the same void, like - ok, my life will have meaning now! And when it doesn't, it's a huge letdown.

I think the ticket is really understanding that while external factors can effect us if they are very extreme, for the most part, it's we that control our emotions and not our environment. And yet, I find I have a really hard time putting that into practice and things feel out of my control so much of the time.

So, thoughts? How do you guys stay happy and keep all the irrational longing under control?
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2 comments :

  1. I'm a victim of this sort of thing as well, so my advice might be totally invalid, but...I think it all comes down to taking things day by day, moment by moment, and just doing what you can to be happy in that time. Focusing on what's not there is ultimately pointless, and emotionally draining.

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  2. i know this feeling. wherever you go, there you are!

    i stay busy with hobbies (i like knitting and crocheting), volunteering (i like tabling because it's basically a series of positive interactions), and reading (two thumbs up for public libraries).

    if there's anything you've always wanted to try - choir! tennis! sewing! - i say do it now.

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