Saturday, January 28, 2012

Stupid articles about relationships and how COMPLICATED they are

Once every couple of years, an article more or less like this one comes out, to much commentary and general boohaha, in what I had previously thought was a respectable publication. As I hear they're starting to call the author the Tolstoy of our time (if you know what I mean), I'll understand if you can't be arsed to read the whole thing and will summarize it for you in the following:

The author, a woman approaching middle age, ruminates as to how it could be that someone as attractive and intelligent as she is (she never outright says that she is these things but it nonetheless seems to be her entire point in writing the article) could still be single. Ruminate, ruminate, ruminate. Then she gives a bunch of statistics that I'm pretty sure don't demonstrate anything in particular, but that she seems to think prove that there are more quality, attractive, and intelligent women than men out there nowadays, which means that there will inevitably be a glut of single women in society (or something). As further evidence as to this thesis, she provides several anecdotes about friends of hers who have dated losers and a litany of bad dates she has been on as well as nice guys that she just wasn't that interested in. Then she talks about a bunch more things that I'm not really sure what their point is, like how college students have casual sex after pub night, and then at the end she spends several pages being like "you know what, maybe being single is actually really great and I am tired of everyone shitting on it!" And then that's it.

Right well, I have several points to make about this article and all the other idiotic ones like it. Here they are:

1) Being single can be great, just don't belie your own claim that it's great by obsessing at extreme length over how it can be possible that you're single.

2) You may be single, and you may have single friends. All of you may be very attractive, intelligent, educated, and generally supremely delightful. This proves nothing about the general trends of society.

3) If you are a single woman who wants to be single, then that is great and there is no need to have a big discussion about why you are single. If you are a single woman who does not want to be single, sorry to burst your bubble, but the reason you are single is not because there is no man within spitting distance who is as attractive, intelligent, or well-educated as you. Enough with these stupid theories. They are not true and serve the interests of nobody.

4) You want a theory that probably is true? Well, I have one for ya. If there is indeed an unusually large number of single women who do not want to be single, which I'm not convinced is the case, but let's just say for argument's sake that it is, maybe it's because despite their unprecedented levels of education and apparent confidence in their intelligence and attractiveness, they don't have any higher self-esteem than they ever did and are consistently attracted only to men who are emotionally unavailable and won't give them the relationship they claim to want.

So have we settled that? Can we stop seeing these stupid articles now? Thanks.


  1. I don't get it. If you liked the guy, why did you break up with him? Just to have more time to yourself?
    And f you did that, isn't that your own fault? Why are you now complaining about being single?

  2. Yeah, I wondered that too. I think the desire for "something more" than a loving partner is the kind of excuse people who chase emotionally unavailable people use to justify behaviour that actually doesn't make any sense.

  3. I opened the link, read the first page, skimmed the rest and skip to the ending because I already overdosed on pompous, self-aggrandizing propaganda for the rest of the day. I severely dislike people who have this stunted view of relationships. They think "Single or die", because the concept of a healthy, loving relationship is so alien to them. It must be alien to her, or she wouldn't have broken up with Allan.


  4. "It must be alien to her, or she wouldn't have broken up with Allan." That absolutely sums up the problem with her whole schtick. Thank you.