Saturday, November 19, 2011

Fantasy World

Something I'm becoming increasingly aware of about myself is that I have sort of been living my entire life in a perpetual fantasy world. Some of my fantasies I've always known are ridiculous and are just a way to pass the time, like the one in which I heroically jump in front of a car to rescue a stranger and it just so happens that everyone I knew in elementary school but haven't seen since is there to see me. (I survive, of course.) But other fantasies I have gone through my entire life believing were true, and am just now finding out, to my frankly great consternation, are not.

Here are some of the somewhat startling awakenings that I have recently had:

1) Living in a different country, where they have a different culture and speak a different language and everything, is not significantly more exciting than living at home. It is mostly just significantly harder.

2) You can't just keep going back to school every time you get the idea in your head that something is interesting. At a certain point, sooner than you would believe possible, you have to earn a living.

3) Earning a living is harder than you think. (And I do mean a living, not a fortune.) Most people won't be able to do it painting pictures or telling jokes or whatever it is that's more fun than sitting at a desk. You are probably most people.

4) People with really hot bodies were mostly born that way. You won't look like them no matter what you do.

5) I don't know if I can sit here and actually say that money buys happiness since I suppose there are some rich people who will just never be happy, but... well, most people would probably be very significantly happier if they got to work less and buy more pointless things.

6) Happiness is simpler than you think.

Sunday, November 13, 2011


If you're anything like me (and if you weren't you'd probably hate reading this blog since pretty much all I do is speculate that everyone must be exactly like me), you're probably like "what's the deal with corn?" because corn is one of those things that everyone sort of eats but is really kind of unremarkable.

Well, no more, I say! From now on, only adjective-worthy corn. You will need:

olive oil
a shit ton of garlic
salt and pepper
aluminum foil

Take a piece of aluminum foil big enough to wrap an ear or two of corn in and place said ear or two of corn on the foil. The chop up or press the shit ton of garlic and put it all over the corn. Turn the corn around so it gets on the other side too. Add a drizzle of olive oil and a sprinkle of salt and pepper, wrap the corn in the foil, and stick it in a hot over for about 20 mins. When I say a hot over I mean you know like 350 F or something. Believe it or not, it actually doesn't matter that much because if you take it out and it's not done yet, you can just put it right back in!

(As long as you start checking when it starts to smell done, that is.)