Wednesday, August 24, 2011

The Interview

In response to my last post, in which I divulged my secret fantasy about being interviewed on CBC Radio, a couple of you suggested I post the whole imagined interview. So I know this seems a little conceited but just remember that you asked for it, okay? Now, it took me a long time to post this because coming up with something post-able, i.e. that would be at the very least not significantly more embarrassing than my music collection, was a bit of a challenge. This might be a little more embarrassing than that after all, but anyway, here it is. It takes place at an undefined future time.

Ms. Morgan, thank you so much for joining us today. It is such a pleasure to have you with us.
Please, the pleasure is all mine.

So tell us, Ms. Morgan, what qualities do you detest most in a person?
Ignorance and arrogance, which I frequently find together.

And what is your most prized possession?
I don't know whether I should say my husband or my sense of humour. But I guess if I lost the former and didn't have the latter, I'd really be screwed. So, my sense of humour.

Would you mind telling us what your dating life was like before you met your husband?
Oh, it was a nightmare. I was a simpering little blob of emotion at the constant mercy of my perpetually broken heart. But of course, everyone always says that after the fact, don't they?

But still, how utterly poetic of you. Is there anything in particular that you learned from that time?
Yes. When I hear the sorts of things people say when they are describing their ideal partner, I am blown away by what I hear. The person must be good-looking, and tall, and deliciously charming, and intelligent, and funny. But these things are all terribly superficial. I know intelligent and funny don't sound superficial, but the thing is, if this person is available to really love you and you have a deeply intimate friendship, that is what matters. Saying you want intelligent and funny is sort of like a less superficial-sounding way of saying you want your partner to be popular.

That is very true. To touch on a different topic, how have you found it, running your outrageously successful company?
There is nothing like calling my time my own. Your time may be your own when you are working for someone, but your employer rents it. That is one of those essential truths, like the fact that a good mother makes a bad mother-in-law, and there is just no lying to yourself about it. Renting your time to someone is no way to live.

Ms. Morgan, as ever, you are so right. And now for something very important, because you always look so lovely. Who is your fashion icon?
The Queen Mother. Isn't that a thoughtful answer?


  1. Thank you so much Ms. Morgan; I laughed heartily. I appreciate your sense of humor.

    p.s: the anonymous reader of your blog who is interested in that you outlined by your writing here.

  2. "...a less superficial-sounding way of saying you want your partner to be popular"


  3. Miss Morgan, I hereby ask your permission to follow this incredibly funny blog.