... it's hard to enjoy the moment because you feel as though the phase of your life that you are currently in is already over, and you're living in a premature state of nostalgia? I remember this time about two years ago when I was walking between two very tall buildings, and I could see a glorious stretch of blue sky, and I was so gloriously, deliriously happy - not because anything special had happened, but only because at that moment I forgave myself all my flaws, all my silly mistakes; and I thought, ah, if I could only be just this way with myself all the time, the way one might think about a normally distant lover who plans a spontaneous night of romance.
But in the very same moment I felt sad, because I feared that I, just like one would fear the lover, would never be quite so kind again.
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