Friday, May 6, 2011

Hipster Salad with Cherry Balsamic Dressing

About 12 hours ago, in an attempt to branch out of my usual subject matter, I wrote a post about voting. I think my point was that we can't vote the developing world into having voting rights, just by casting uninformed votes. But I reread it just now and was promptly reminded of why I should never write about anything Important, because I really don't know what the fuck I am talking about. That and the fact that I got not a single comment in 12 full hours even though you guys usually give me at least one caused me to question my entire validity as a human being, which in turn caused me to delete that post. If ever I try to talk about anything so serious again, please just tell me to sod right off. We are back to the usual bs on this blog.

Remember when I told you that you don't like lettuce very much? Well, as you may know from experience, one way of solving or at least circumventing practically any problem is to throw money at it. This means that if you buy that scandalously expensive stuff that comes in a bag, says "organic" on it and looks like weeds, you may delude yourself into thinking you like lettuce much more rapidly than if you buy a head of lettuce that you have to tear into bits, will never finish, and will make your salad look like it comes from a sad 80s buffet and may just start to weep if it doesn't get to mate with the Russian dressing. I may just start to weep if I picture my supremely sorry self sitting alone in a room watching Wills and Kate get smilingly married one more time but I already told you about that.

As a hipster-in-denial, I consider it my duty to eat "salad" in place of "dinner" at least sometimes. I find this is a successful endeavor (by which I mean that I am usually not hungry in 30 minutes) provided that I eat a gigantic piece of cake immediately after the salad. And cherry balsamic dressing is rather tasty, so you might as well give this a try at least once.

You will need:

cherry jam (the good stuff. If it tastes like children's Tylenol it is not the good stuff.)
balsamic vinegar
olive oil
salt and pepper
garlic (as much as you like)
a bag of expensive greens
half a zucchini
half a yellow or orange pepper
an onion
a few cherry tomatoes (say like four)
grapes (do not leave these out, they are the best part)
protein of your choice (leftover meat or fish, beans if you're into those, whatev. Fresh mozzarella might be classy.)
cake (for dessert)

Put a bit of olive oil in a pan and press the garlic into it. Or chop up the garlic if you don't have a garlic press. I tell you that a lot.

Add the onion to the pan and cook a minute or two, then add the yellow pepper and zucchini. But chop all those three things up first. You knew that right? Cook until they're cooked which will take like five mins or so.

While those things are cooking, get out a nice big bowl and put a spoonful or two of cherry jam in the bottom. Then add a nice big splash of balsamic vinegar, a medium-sized splash of olive oil, and salt and pepper to the jam and whisk with a fork until combined. Put a big handful of greens in the bowl along with the halved cherry tomatoes and a handful or two of halved grapes. It can sit this way until you're ready to toss and eat your salad. Cool, huh?

If you're using any protein besides cheese, add it to the pan for the last minute or two of cooking. If your protein isn't pre-cooked, cook it first some other way and then do this. If it's cheese, add the cheese to the bowl with the greens, then add the cooked veggies when they're ready and toss the salad, spooning up the dressing from the bottom.

Don't forget the cake.

This bowl is bigger than it looks.
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1 Comments

1 comment :

  1. I liked the voting post! I often feel the same way, particularly about Canadian elections. But then I also watch The Daily Show where it is pointed out to me how insane and uneducated so many politicians are. So I have concluded that it is ok to vote because perhaps even though I don't know anything about most political things, neither do many politicians.

    I know you covered the royal wedding, but what about the royal adoption? http://www.usmagazine.com/celebritynews/news/prince-william-kate-adopt---a-baby-penguin-201165

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