Sometimes, you just need to detox. To do so, you will need:
2 cups bulgur
1 15-oz. can chick peas
2 stalks celery
a handful mushrooms
2 or 3 cloves garlic
Prepare bulgur by putting it in a pot with twice as much water, bringing to a boil, then simmering for 10 minutes or until the water is absorbed. In the meantime, chop up all the vegetables (including the garlic), then drain the chick peas and mash them up. Mix everything together along with a squirt of ketchup and a splash of soy sauce, then put it in a greased cake or bread pan. If you'll be really bent out of shape if this falls apart when you cut into it, you can crush up two tablespoons of flax seeds and mix with eight tablespoons of water, then add that too. (And then you can put on your Birkenstocks and go play guitar on a mountain.) But otherwise not necessary.
Bake at 375 degrees Fahrenheit or 180 Celsius for 45 mins or until brown on top. I swear I am not bullshitting you when I say this is delicious. I ate the whole damn thing myself and it was huge.