Wednesday, March 2, 2011


I'm going to add to the ever-growing list of things people actually like a lot less than they think they do. So far the list consists of lettuce, clubbing, and now mingling.

You don't feel ambivalent about mingling, as you may think you do. You actually hate it, because the entire time you're doing it, you're pretty much thinking something like, "Nobody here wants to talk to me, and I guess I have to admit that the feeling is sort of mutual." The moment you stop feeling this way is the moment you stop mingling.


  1. Yikes! I'd say that it's rather difficult to impose your feeling about mingling upon others, unless of course extensive research has been done. How can you say with certainty that nobody wants to mingle? Or is fooled into believing they want to mingle?

    We are social beings; it is in our nature to explore. This allows us to make choices, associate with people we like, and hopefully leverage one another to succeed in our endeavors.

    Anyways, I can blab about this forever, so I'll just stop now.. :)

    ps I love lettuce too, especially when it's cold!

  2. Point taken. However, what I'm highlighting is the difference between enjoying meeting new people and enjoying the process of mingling. It may not be avoidable to mingle if you want to meet new people, but that doesn't mean you necessarily enjoy talking to people you're not hitting it off with, unavoidable as it is. You may disagree, but I'm thinking anyone who says they like talking to people they don't really get along with is probably lying.

    I assume I don't need to point out that the purpose of this blog is to be provocative and get people to think about things, not to be a scientific journal...

  3. Mingling gives me panic attacks.


  4. Really? 'point taken'? But there is absolutely no 'point' in what anonymous says. Mingling has nothing to do with an exploring exercise that is driven by our social nature. Social beings don't awkwardly utter para-sensicalities into the void that extends in the general direction of a total/partial stranger in the hope of achieving some quasi-communicative status. Social beings actually communicate. To genuinely claim that you like mingling stands in need of more explanation than that.

  5. i can't decide which i hate more as between mingling and clubbing. they are both characterized by having brief, superficial conversations with people you don't really know and may or may not like, awkwardly ending the conversation and moving on to the next uncomfortable one until you can finally go home and relax. i guess clubbing has the added strike against it of being obnoxiously loud. maybe this explains why my only friends are my cat and my husband.

    i'm not yet ready to admit that my feelings towards lettuce are only lukewarm, maybe because unlike clubbing and mingling, pretending to like lettuce is good for me overall.

  6. upon further reflection, i take it back about lettuce. crunchy, tart lettuce in a burrito is the difference between good and great.

  7. @atbeen: I thought that perhaps what anonymous was saying is that he/she likes to have opportunities to meet new people (as I do as well), which is why I responded as I did, saying that is different than enjoying mingling. You would be a harsher moderator of this blog than I, obviously. Maybe I should just stay out of the comments.

  8. I would be way too harsh, actually, hence the lack of a personal blog, which could be a dark and scary place. You do a capable job of moderating your comments, so what should happen here is that I should refrain from scaring people away from your blog by my causticity. I will try, but remember, you brought all this on yourself :)

  9. I wonder if there is some kind of correlation between people who like lettuce and people who like mingling? Maybe there's a weird condition at the root of all the madness.

  10. Just to address a couple of points:

    atbeen: It's only awkward if you feel/make it awkward. Being confident in one's self it what makes all the difference, I think. Abolish all insecurities and embrace getting to know others. I'm not claiming to be an expert, just saying it's something great to work towards. This also leads to the benefits of social dominance.. social engineering.. and seduction... a whole other topic.....

    anna: I've accepted that there are people that will like you, people that will be indifferent, and others that will hate you. It's impossible to please everyone, so enjoy the conversations with those whom you "click".. at least that's what I do, but what do I know.. Oh, and I'm with you on the superficial nature of clubs. That's a whole other game though. Mingling can happen anywhere....

    I guess my main point is that that lack of enjoyment while mingling is a limiting belief. Life is mind over matter (I strongly believe), and one can make themselves believe things if they want to. If they can see the benefits to doing so. If the desire is there. All depends on one's goal.

    Jenny: Thanks for stirring up this discussion! :)

  11. Argh. There is nothing worse than nodding along to a conversation you don't understand due to joining mid way, with people you don't know, and hoping they acknowledge your existence.