Saturday, January 29, 2011

Picking Up Girls at the Supermarket and More on Being a Pick-Up Artist

Whether or not the supermarket is a good place to pick up girls is apparently a burning question in the minds of one or two of you who have asked me to blog about it. So I would be more than happy to tell you that I do not think the supermarket is a good place to pick up girls. The best thing I can say about it is that it's better than a nightclub, but that's not saying much.

The reason I don't think the supermarket is a good place is because I don't think any place you go to once in a while that doesn't particularly lend itself to interacting with anyone is a good place. If you really want to try picking up a girl you don't know and won't be that embarrassed if she's not into it, I'm sure you don't need me to name a place. The supermarket is fine. So is the park, the library, and Starbucks. Yoga centres tend to have a lot of girls in them. You could try that.

Actually, a yoga centre is probably the place I can think of where you'd be most likely to have some success, especially if you're not a hipster douchebag. You might sort of be a breath of fresh air.

When I wrote my last post about being a pick-up artist and how the techniques described in Neil Strauss' The Game are bogus, a few of you said in your comments that the techniques could a) be helpful to guys who are afraid to approach girls, or b) be used to start off an interaction with some witty banter, which will spark a girl's initial interest. One of you said that even smart and sophisticated women go for witty banter, not just frat boy groupies.

I actually don't know what smart and sophisticated women go for. However, I can tell you what women who fear rejection big time go for, because I am one of those. Women who fear rejection big time go for someone whose interest in them is sincere. If you see a girl in the supermarket whom you think looks rather good from behind, that doesn't mean your interest in her is sincere, and she knows it. If she rejects you, it won't be any great loss to you. That's why the chances she will be receptive to you are small.

If you are afraid to "approach" women whom you don't know from a hole in the ground, it's probably because you have some sense that women aren't really receptive to random chat-ups, no matter how cocky and funny you are. So go out and actually get to know some people organically, so you can develop a sincere interest in one of them. You know what I mean. Join a club. Meet your friends' friends. Actually, my yoga suggestion was a good one. Do that but, you know, regularly and with the same bunch of people.

There's no need to worry about changing the part of yourself that doesn't like to approach random girls so that you can have the pick of the lot. Having the pick of the lot isn't the way romance works. I don't know anything about the way romance works, but I am quite an expert on the myriad of ways it doesn't work.


  1. Just for the record: I "picked up" Michelle at a random BBQ pork shop, so contrary to your suggestion, it does work!

  2. I was watching something, and I can't remember now what it was, that mentioned hitting on girls at book stores. And that it happens a lot or it's easy to do. It was a scripted show so I don't know how true this is except that my boyfriend told me (he was watching with me) that he has been hit on by dudes at bookstores (no he was not happy about it). He said they were usually super creepy but I don't know if it's cause that's the kind of guy that would hit on a guy like him of because they were the kind of guys that try to hit on people in bookstores.
    I agree, somewhere that you don't have the chance to actually get to know someone past what they look like isn't a great place to meet people.

  3. Haha love it :D Point taken...I will file away the produce jokes for the time being.

    One bone to pick. Are you saying that any interest a guy displays in a girl upon their first encounter is insincere?

  4. @kl: I had a feeling I'd hear from someone who would say it worked either for them or someone they knew. I'm not saying it can never work, just that it's not the most ideal way to go about meeting people. If it worked for you, that's great. I just don't think it will work for everyone.

    @Me: Kinda threw me 'cause you're not me, lol. But, glad you agree.

    @Jonny: For sure insincere? No. Probably insincere? Yes. If all you know about a girl is that she's got big boobs and good hair, your interest will probably not last long.

  5. @JMO

    I disagree. If it worked for a shmuck like me, I think it's safe to say it can work for everyone.


  6. Also, why is this on Pacific time?

  7. I'm not sure why it's on Pacific time, and will look into that.

    Actually no, it can't work for everyone. I think we all know that huge schmucks have way better luck than everybody else.

  8. I don't really have much more to add other than I basically agree with everything. and everything on the last post. also bearing in mind that even a lot of smart, attractive women are self-conscious enough that they find random guys suddenly chatting them up in a non-organic way awkward and therefore more likely to be wary and more likely to run away. (but maybe this is the britishness showing...?) in any case, I do find the idea of 'the rules' incredibly demeaning to everyone involved, just due to the inherent insincerity it invokes.

  9. I don't think it's the Britishness showing. :) But I think that anyone who finds sudden and non-organic chat-ups awkward does so because she has some sense of how insincere these chat-ups mostly are, and she wants to get away from that.

  10. This was really cute. I met my boyfriend through a friend who had a crazy crush on me, even though I rejected him over ten times. We were friends for a while, and kept it that way, mostly because I found out he's an employee of my father's, but eventually, we started dating, and things have been wonderful since. : )

  11. Jennie, I got here from your link in the WSJ article 'Why Chinese Mothers...'. Liked your blog. will be back. - Jim

  12. Good to hear! Hope to see you around here again.